Relational ministry is hard- Part 4
Relational ministry is hard because it rejects the “cult-of-personality-everything-hinges-on-one-dynamic-youth-leader-that-every-kid-loves” model of ministry. Instead, it places ministry on the shoulders of a team to relate to people like Jesus did.
It doesn’t mean there isn’t a role for staff. In fact, it takes a very unique type of staff person. Ephesians 4:11-12 and Exodus 18:13-26 unlock many of the keys to this type of staff person.
Ephesians is clear that pastors are equippers, leaders of leaders. Somehow we adopted a notion that pastors are to be the executers of ministry, the doers. It turned churches into places where people consumed services provided by the staff. But biblically, pastors or staff have the mandate to make sure that all people of God have the tools to do what they are called to do. A pastor should lead, serve, direct, support, cast vision, and resource that vision.
Jethro in Exodus 18 helps Moses see that ministry is a shared experience in following God, and that ministry centered on one person is a recipe for wearing everyone out- ineffective ministry.
It wears out the leader because it makes it dependent on one, fallible person. That’s a ton of pressure, too much. It’s why student pastors leave churches on an average of every 18 months. We put unrealistic expectations on them. We ask them to do what Jesus didn’t do. We inflate their egos and then punish them when they don’t meet expectations.
It wears out those who come because of the one leader. Eventually their needs aren’t met because one person can only do so much. They feel unloved and uncared for by the one staff, they get burned, and eventually may leave the church, associating bad systems with God. Studies show an individual can know about 100 names and have meaningful relationships with about 12-15 people. How then can ministry-by-one be effective in the long term?
It also wears out everyone else who could have and wanted to be a part of the ministry. Gifted people will leave a ministry if their gifts aren’t used. If the ministry hinges on one person, that ministry will generally attract a limited number of similar attendees. But if you increase the leadership base, growth becomes exponential, not just additional. Not serving is actually a tiring thing and wears you out.
So what is the answer? Let the staff equip the leaders. Let multiple leaders be relational, creating more ways to engage more people.
